Laugh at the “soft life” all you want…but it’s actually valid. 🤷🏽

Though I’ll admit, it was triggering for me at first.

You may have seen this term thrown around quite a bit in the past couple years on social media.

And if you’re anything like me—I’m talking type A, productivity-driven, independent, and used to fending for yourself in order to get what you want—the “soft life” craze may be a little bit triggering.

Like…how DARE such women exist, just lounging around in their robes, drinking wine, and having everything handed to them on a silver platter…while women like ME exist out here—single mamas, hustling, working multiple jobs, living paycheck to paycheck, just trying to make ends meet?

How dare such women exist, while some of us are literally out here just trying SURVIVE?

But the more I’ve ruminated on this concept the past year, the more I’ve realized why it was so triggering for me. It upset me, because deep down inside, I KNEW that the soft life was what I actually wanted and deserved.

And the more I’ve researched and become knowledgeable on divine feminine energy, the more it’s made sense.

Every woman craves the soft life…a life of ease, pleasure, and abundance, because it’s what we deserve and are hardwired towards. After all, women are hormonal, cyclical beings—we are physiologically MADE to thrive and hustle in certain seasons—then, rest, reflect, and be nurtured for in others.

Even if you ARE a productivity-driven girlie like me, you cannot deny that if given a choice between a life of constant hardship and struggle, versus a life of ease, you’d choose the latter. Who wouldn’t?

I want to explore this concept today, and dispel a few misconceptions around the soft life. Because the truth is, women can still be driven, productive, CEO boss-babes while also tapping into their divine feminine energy and living in their soft life era.

Many women struggle and run their bodies ragged into the ground because they simply don’t know how to prioritize. EVERYTHING becomes a struggle they willingly choose to take on, and so therefore, they’ve claimed EVERY battle as theirs to fight.

But guess what—it’s not.

And the sooner you realize this, the closer you’ll be to claiming the life of ease and joy that you deserve.

It’s Trending for a Reason

This term has been around for a while, but in case it’s new to you, let’s lay down the foundation before we explore it further.

Here’s the first definition that comes up on UrbanDictionary:

I used to scoff at this concept because, frankly—I just didn’t think it was realistic.

But after learning more about feminine energy and limiting beliefs—as in, I’ve realized I’ve actually been brought up to believe that life is SUPPOSED to be hard and a struggle, because that’s all I’ve seen around me and in the household I grew up in—the more I’ve been able to release a mindset that does me no good, and tap into a life of ease and less struggle.

Now this certainly doesn’t mean I’m living a life of rainbows and butterflies right now.

I’m still a single mom.

I’m still pretty much living paycheck to paycheck, because…well, that’s the reality of our economy and the cost of childcare these days.

And I’ve still got a ways to go before I’m fully financially free and living the life I truly desire for myself.

However, despite all of these things, I can admittedly say that I’m in a MUCH happier headspace.

And even though I’m not rich or living in some mansion right now, I’m able to tap into gratitude and joy so much easier. I’m able to be more creative and assertive with the way I seek OUT joys and self-care in my life, even if they may be simple or not that impressive to some people.

I don’t hustle as hard at work. Sure, I do my job, I clock in and out and do what I need to in between, but I’m no longer treating everything as life or death.

Same thing with my content creation and personal passion projects. My podcast and newsletter mean the world to me, and I’ve still got dreams of creating a digital product someday—or two, or three—that you all can benefit from and enjoy—but, I’m in no rush and I’m not KILLING myself in the process.

If I need to skip a week of the podcast and put out an episode late because my day job got busy, so be it. If I never end up creating a digital product because work ends up taking precedent over the next few years—which, it may very well end up that way because I’m hoping for a promotion sooner than later—so be it.

Tapping into the “soft life” mindset means I’m accepting things as they are and making the most of them, without struggle. 

I’m doing what feels right for me. And I’m not bending over backwards and killing myself over something that ultimately won’t even matter than much in the long run.

These realizations have been GROUNDBREAKING. And that’s because I’ve been in my masculine energy for most of my life. My norm has always been this—on the constant state of “doing” and always putting others’ needs above my own. Not to mention, being the breadwinner in my past two relationships, and now a first-time single mom, has only aggravated the only norm I’ve ever known.

All I’d ever KNOWN was hustle, so it was my baseline, my standard way of operating. But a day came when it suddenly hit me—the epiphany that I deserved more.

That I wasn’t put on this earth to be an endlessly giving machine.

I asked myself, is this kind of life really serving me? And do I WANT to live the rest of my life like this?